July

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July happens to be the greatest month of the year. Summer is in full swing and there's a bunch of shit to do...unless you live in the desert, then you should probably stay inside and soak up the A/C. You can go back to making fun of us in the winter. Here's a list of shit happening this month.

July 2nd - National I Forgot Day

Happy Birthday or whatever. My bad. 

July 4th - Independence Day

Fuck yeah!

July 3 - 6th - Fort Ticonderoga Events

OK, on a kind of serious note... They do a bunch of cool shit here. It's a cool fort that actually belonged to the French. The British captured it in 1759 and maintained control of it until The Green Mountain Boys out of Vermont captured it from the British in 1775. It played an important role in the Revolutionary War. Check it out if you're in the area. 
FT Events | Fort Ticonderoga

July 5th - National Bikini Day

Fuck yeah!

July 16th - World Snake Day

OK, I don't think that's the Snake they're talking about, but real snakes scare the shit out of me. Anyway, don't forget to pay tribute to our cult leader. ​

July 20th - Space Exploration Day

OK, everyone knows the moon landing was faked. You see, there was this thing called the Cold War and we couldn't let the Russians win. Also, I'm pretty sure this is legit cuz I heard a podcast or something about it. 

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OK, there's a bunch of other days, but I'm not listing them. You all have access to Google. Figure your own shit out.