June

That's right, folks. June is here. Warm weather and sunshine have finally arrived...except it's been raining for like 3 straight weeks, but at least it stays light out until like 8:30 now. Here's a look at some shit happening this month. 

Snake-Social Celebrates Pride Month
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Yep. Celebrate your pride with our friends at Snake-Social.com. Here at Fifty's Saloon, we won't be celebrating Pride Month because we don't care if you're gay or trans or straight or a purple unicorn. I don't think Snake-Social cares either, but it'll be funny to plaster rainbow memes all of the place. And yes, this photo was generated with AI, that's why there's a kid with his head on backwards at the front of the float.  And what's up with everyone's hands? You can't stop looking at, can you?

June 5th-Belmont Stakes at Saratoga Raceway

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Because there's nothing like watching rich people bet money on abused animals. This is the day that everyone shows up to watch horses beat into submission. Men will show up in lavender polo shirts and women apparently have a contest to see who can wear the biggest dumb hat. Also, traffic will be fucked up all day, so I'd recommend just avoiding the area.  

June 8th - World Ocean Day

Yep, you guessed it. The world has oceans. 

June 9th - Father's Day

This is the day we celebrate fathers of the word. So Happy Father's Day to all you motherfuckers out there. 

June 19th - Juneteenth

Slavery was wrong and we fixed that. America!

​It's also a federal holiday now. 

June 20th - Summer Begins

It's that time of year where we can finally stop bitching about how cold it is and start bitching about how hot it is. If you don't have central air, it sucks to be you. Go outside or something.